Nothing ~ I can do that!

I follow a blog My Charming Kids from time to time. She is the mother of 4 children (ages 3, 2, 1 and is 34 weeks pregnant). Her pregnancy with Stellan (ada MckMuffin) has been a rollercoaster. He was diagnosed with heart failure: Premature Atrial Contraction at 20 weeks; Supraventricular Tachycardia, mild hydrops, and intermittent advanced secondary heart block at 23 weeks; and enlargement of the heart at 32 weeks. We were told at 24 weeks that he would surely die. God performed a miracle and MckMuffin is still with us! The doctors are unsure about what will happen to our baby when he is born. But God is not unsure!! We are praying for MckMuffin's full healing, but we know that God is good no matter what He decides.

Her post last week got me thinking. Read on...

"Oftentimes in the past few months, I have caught myself telling God, "I just don't think I can handle all that you are asking me to do! It's too much. It's too quick. I am way too overwhelmed. I just don't think I can do it all--all that you are clearly asking me to do! I am getting close to the end of my rope!"Well, that was before I actually reached the very end of my rope, before those last strands slipped between my fingers. That was before I finally hit rock bottom. And, when that happened, I cried out--to no one in particular--that "This is it! This is the last straw! I am honestly, completely, utterly done! I cannot go on. I can't. God, you have asked too much of me. I want to do what you are asking, but I can't. Nope. Can't. Not being dramatic here, just telling you that I can't do this!!!"

And, it was at that point, when I was moaning about that to a dear friend, that God spoke to me as clear as daylight, right through her as she said, "Well, that's great!"Um, what!? Excuuuuuse me? Come again!? "That's great!?!""That's great!" She said. "You are finally where God wants you! He has been waiting for you to get to the point where you admit that you simply cannot do what He is asking you to do. Now that you finally see that you can't do it, there is room to see that that's the truth: You can't do it! You see, God never intended you to do what He was asking! It is too hard and too much! He wants to be the one to fight your battles. He doesn't want you to do what He's asking. He'll do it for you!"

Lightning bolt revelation. After taking it all in for a moment, I managed to whisper, "Then what does He want me to do?"Nothing. He wants you to do nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Just let Him do it. All. You do nothing."There are simply no words to do justice to how that revelation has radicalized my life recently. I fall back on that truth day in and day out. Now, when things that I think I need slip between my fingers, and I feel like I can't go on, I remember that I don't have to. He is going on for me. I just have to do nothing.

When I don't know the future and I can't plan things out the way I am so desperately used to doing, I force myself to remember that I can't plan. God already knows the plans, and He is seeing them to fruition. I just have to do nothing. When the Home Depot crabbies hit, or my Type A personality comes blazing through, when others let me down or when I let myself down big time, I simply cling to the hope that I don't have to fix anything. I don't have to understand or grapple with any of the big issues in my life anymore. It's either I hand my desire to know to God, or He pries that desire from my sweaty grip. Either way, it is all His. How freeing it is to finally know that, not only do I not have to do it all, all I have to do is nothing. That, my friends, I can do."

I pray that I continue to learn to give God my hurts, habits, hangups, struggles, frustrations and doubt... and practice doing nothing while God takes over ~ He, after all, has it all figured out!